Intermission Explanation

I know I'm long overdue for a post.  How is it that sewing together a couple of needlepoint pillows can take several months?  Let me count thy ways...

I did get new eyeglasses and prescription sunglasses from my new optometrist, and they work great for every day wear, but what I really needed for fabric arts and crafts projects were powerful reading glasses so I picked up a three-pack for twelve bucks at the local clothing store.  Now I have a pair next to each sewing and serger machine.

So, for the most part, my eyesight problems have been corrected, but now I find myself struggling with cognitive issues.  For instance, I could not, for the life of me, find the right sized pillow insert for these 12x12" needlepoint canvases.  The websites selling them said to always buy the next size up, so I checked out the 14x14" pillow inserts, and the reviews said they were flat and recommended that you buy the next size up, which was 16x16".  So, I bought that, and it was way too big.  I tried adapting to the large pillow insert by cutting out a 18x18" square of fabric, but could not figure out how to attach it smoothly to a 12x12" needlepoint canvas without gathering the fabric, so I ordered some 14x14" pillow inserts, which were still too big.  I went through the same rigmarole until I finally bought the 12x12" pillow inserts.  Don't listen to what anyone says in those online reviews.  Trust your own instinct.

Now I'm in the process of cutting that 18x18" square of fabric down to a 14x14" square of fabric, leaving room for hems, because the fabric is very lightweight and frays easily.  Somehow, some way, I always manage to do my math wrong and when all is said and done with the hems, the square is still too big.  You know the old saying of cutting it twice and it still being too short?  Well, I cut twice and it's still too long.

When I work so hard only to make a mistake and have to do the process again, I tend to walk away from the project either because I have to get on with my life, or because I need a time out from it.  That tactic wouldn't be so bad if I could return to it the next day, but usually some other problem or activity commandeers my time, and before I know it, several weeks or months have passed and my project is collecting dust on my sewing table.

The serger intimidates me.  I had my first thread breakage the other day, and it took me hours to get around to reading the threading instructions and watching a video on how to thread it.  The actual threading repair only took seconds, but learning how to do it seemed to take all day because I had a learning block.  As soon as I started reading the instructions, I fell asleep.  I know that my fear of the serger thread breaking again is a big reason why I keep avoiding finishing the pillows.  I think, "I can finish this pillow in an hour.  I know exactly what I need to do.  But what if the serger thread breaks and I have to re-thread all four threads through the machine?  Then it will take days to get the pillow done."

And that's the point in my thinking process where I start looking around for something more urgent to do.  Besides the intimidating serger, I also just don't trust my brain.  Every time I make a mistake, I'm like, "What the heck was I thinking?"

Then I look in the mirror at myself like I'm a stranger.  "Who ARE you?  You're not the intelligent young woman I used to rely on.  This isn't rocket science, you know."

It's scary when you can no longer do something that you've done a dozen times before because you're over the hill and you brain is slowly dying.  I have stacks upon stacks of fabrics and patterns waiting for my attention, but if I can't complete a simple square pillow, I doubt there's much hope that I will be able to construct some clothes.

I've been anxious about summer coming, because that was when I was in the most pain and the most crippled last year, but it turns out that the heat had nothing to do with my pain levels.  I suspect that my pain levels had more to do with stress and the lack of support I'd been receiving from doctors in resolving my pain and immobility.  Pretty much all I've been dealing with lately is stiffness and a lack of flexibility, but the pain is mostly gone since the steroid injections.  So, the leg pain and the eyesight issues are no longer getting in the way of my craft projects.  It's mainly my cognitive functioning and my inability to concentrate on something for more than a few minutes without getting interrupted.

After my oldest dog passed away, I thought my time would be freed up, but within a few months, my next oldest dog started going downhill and developing health problems that require a lot of my attention.  She is now at the end of her life, and just when I thought my time would be freed up once she passes, my youngest dog developed a health problem that is going to require a lot of my time and the vet's time.  I'm going to have to be taking him in to see the vet every few weeks, and that's going to get to be both time consuming and expensive. I'm planning on switching vets, because my current one is in the habit of leaving me alone in an examining room with my dog for an hour while she chats with her staff.  She clearly has no respect for my schedule.  I just can't figure out how I can be so unlucky as to end up with three dogs with special needs.  I've owned dogs my entire life, and up until these last three, they were all pretty low maintenance.  Now my life revolves around the bladders and bowels of dogs.  Usually, when I am on my way into the sewing room to finish the pillows, I get sidetracked by a dog accident on the carpet.  By the time I'm done scrubbing the stain out, I've either forgotten what I was originally going to do, or I've run out of free time and have to move on to the next task.

So, those are the reasons why it has been so long since I've last completed a project to share on this blog.  As usual, I have high hopes that things will change soon.  Unfortunately, they rarely do.  Until next time...